The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. — Carl Hiaasen Comedy Copy Share Image
Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
There is no writer's block in a newsroom. There's only unemployment block. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“Wahoo's father had absolutely no use for creeps who beat on small animals, especially kids.” — Carl Hiaasen Animal Copy Share Image
“You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.” — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
I think it's always good for the author to stay a good cattle prod's distance from the actual moviemaking. — Carl Hiaasen Books Copy Share Image
“Shreave flicked away the dead mosquito. "Don't these things carry the bird flu too?" "No Boyd, that would be a bird.” — Carl Hiaasen Bird flu Copy Share Image
“I believe it's never too late to change. I'm eighty-one years old, but I still think I can be a better person… — Carl Hiaasen Better person Copy Share Image
“It was inevitable that the poacher and the counterfeiter would bond, sharing as they did a blanket contempt for government, taxes, homosexuals,… — Carl Hiaasen Gun laws Copy Share Image
“Each week the writers strived to portray the brothers on a social bandwidth halfway between harmless rednecks and odious white trash. It… — Carl Hiaasen Brotherhood Copy Share Image
I don't have an e-reader. One reason is that I like to dog-ear the page when I find a particularly good sentence… — Carl Hiaasen Books Copy Share Image
There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the… — Carl Hiaasen Country Copy Share Image
My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally. — Carl Hiaasen Driving Copy Share Image
Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page,… — Carl Hiaasen Book Copy Share Image
The one thing a lifetime in the newspaper business teaches you is pace - you spend all your time trying to make… — Carl Hiaasen Business Copy Share Image
“A big farming operation like his was a challenging enterprise, relying as it did on rampant pollution and the systematic mistreatment of… — Carl Hiaasen Business Copy Share Image
The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It's hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every… — Carl Hiaasen Books Copy Share Image
Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to… — Carl Hiaasen Anger Copy Share Image
I think in the old days, the nexus of weirdness ran through Southern California, and to a degree New York City. I… — Carl Hiaasen Bizarre Copy Share Image
Here's my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the… — Carl Hiaasen Book Copy Share Image
as a lobbyist he had long ago concluded there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government.… — Carl Hiaasen Business Copy Share Image
It's actually not very hard to re-set between the adult novels and the ones for younger readers. The narrative voices are very… — Carl Hiaasen Adults Copy Share Image
All novels are about crime. You'd be hard pressed to find any novel that does not have an element of crime. I… — Carl Hiaasen Book Copy Share Image
“Nope. He lives over in Boca Raton.” “Oh fuck, Red.” “I know, it’s hor’ble. That’s how come the five hundred a day.” — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
It's easy to get distracted by the vaudevillian aspects of the healthcare debate. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“The victim’s hand was contracted into a fist except for the middle digit, which was rigidly extended.” — Carl Hiaasen Fist Copy Share Image
Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it. — Carl Hiaasen Comedy Copy Share Image
I was born and raised here [in Florida], so I still have tremendous affection for the state - especially the few wild… — Carl Hiaasen Affection Copy Share Image
“But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today… — Carl Hiaasen Children Copy Share Image
Sure, I'll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I'm wrong but… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
The TV commercials, which are endless and fairly crass, gave birth to Brock, the bad-lawyer character in Razor Girl. In real life… — Carl Hiaasen Birth Copy Share Image
Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I… — Carl Hiaasen Accents Copy Share Image
You can do the best research and be making the strongest intellectual argument, but if readers don't get past the third paragraph… — Carl Hiaasen Argument Copy Share Image
Ironically, I come from a family of lawyers - my dad, my grandfather, and now my oldest son. And some of my… — Carl Hiaasen Best friend Copy Share Image
“The first thing that the boy called Smoke told Nick Waters was: “Your biology book’s in my locker. The combination is 5-3-5.”… — Carl Hiaasen Books Copy Share Image
Kids feel so strongly about what's going on today and what's happening to the world, and that's very inspiring. I feel more… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“She said there was no tactful way for a naked person to cope with a runny nose, especially while dancing. Orly grudgingly… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
![“I was born and raised here [in Florida], so I still have tremendous affection for the state - especially the few wild places that haven't disappeared under concrete. What's left is still worth fighting for, and that's why I stay.” quote by Carl Hiaasen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/313/carl-hiaasen-2926_affection_i-was-born-and-raised-here-in-florida-so_2568400.jpg)
