“The Dragon Queen was firm: No sex, no more voodoo curses on Christopher.” — Carl Hiaasen Queen Copy Share Image
I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“Despite the meatiness of his fingers, Dominick showed himself to be a nimble texter.” — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“In his love life Yancy specialized in devising scenarios that could lead only to unwise decisions.” — Carl Hiaasen Decision making Copy Share Image
“Martin Trebeaux had purchased a fleet of marine barges using the proceeds from a poshly falsified BP oil-spill claim.” — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death. — Carl Hiaasen Death Copy Share Image
“The innards of Ping’s G5 were supposedly computer-engineered with a process called “finite-element analysis,” a term that for all I know was… — Carl Hiaasen Technology Copy Share Image
When you're given a newspaper column, you're not being paid to sit on a fence and scratch your chin and say 'On… — Carl Hiaasen Being Copy Share Image
From my experience, politicians are much more uncomfortable being made fun of than they are being preached at and screeched at -… — Carl Hiaasen Fun Copy Share Image
“The man's a born straggler, Honey thought, another lucky exception to the rules of natural selection. A million years ago he would've… — Carl Hiaasen Natural selection Copy Share Image
We've always been fascinated with movie stars and singers, but the fascination with people who really have nothing to offer is something… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
When I was writing Razor Girl, I thought it would be fun to have a redneck TV family that was really just… — Carl Hiaasen Actors Copy Share Image
“Don’t order the fish,” Yancy advised Merry when they sat down. “But it’s a seafood joint.” “More like a petri dish with… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Unfortunately, I don't get to read nearly as much as I want because I'm always working on my own stuff, either the… — Carl Hiaasen Books Copy Share Image
Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the… — Carl Hiaasen Bangkok Copy Share Image
“Earl, you can’t walk around with a lead slug up your bottom. It’s bound to affect your outlook.” Tool jerked his hand… — Carl Hiaasen Leadership Copy Share Image
I've never before had the same main character appear in consecutive novels, but I liked Yancy and his attitude, and I was… — Carl Hiaasen Attitude Copy Share Image
Sometimes you're going to be faced with situations where the line isn't clear between what's right and what's wrong.Your heart will tell… — Carl Hiaasen Brain Copy Share Image
I got overwhelmed by the magnitude of the celebrity culture in America. My background is as a news journalist, and newsrooms in… — Carl Hiaasen America Copy Share Image
The central part of the state is more remote and less scenic, and there's a huge agricultural belt that stretches from the… — Carl Hiaasen Agriculture Copy Share Image
“Nobody from the Amazing Kingdom bothered to check with previous employers, such as the New York City Police Department, to inquire about… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“The gutted ruins of the Amazing Kingdom were razed, and the land was replanted with native trees, including buttonwoods, pigeon plums, torchwoods,… — Carl Hiaasen Flower Copy Share Image
Informed opponents of Obama's healthcare initiative have expressed dismay at the low level of discourse. — Carl Hiaasen Discourse Copy Share Image
I've never progressed very far from my days as a smart aleck in middle school. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“In his own mind, it was never a matter of courage. But courage it was.” — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“The dog proved to be as dumb and stubborn as a mud fence, so Stranahan had named him Strom.” — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Unfortunately for novelists, real life is getting way too funny and far-fetched. — Carl Hiaasen Life Copy Share Image
“Buck’s girlfriend went by the porny name of Miracle though she had a master’s in computer science from Florida State.” — Carl Hiaasen Computer science Copy Share Image
“Dragging baits in the ocean was different than jigging for walleyes in the lake back home.” — Carl Hiaasen Fish Copy Share Image
Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“Coroners made Al Garcia jumpy; they always got so cheery when somebody came up with a fresh way to die.” — Carl Hiaasen Death Copy Share Image
They have a crystalline sense of right and wrong; it disappears when they walk out the door with their M.B.A. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“From the pancake house I drive directly to the county morgue. The contrast is not especially striking.” — Carl Hiaasen Morgue Copy Share Image
“Miami ... the floating-human-body-parts capital of America.” — Carl Hiaasen Capital Copy Share Image
