Bo Burnham Quotes

64 quotes in 783 categories

• I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and…
• What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
• What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.
• Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
• When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
• In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
• If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
• For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
• Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.
• When life gets you down, make a comforter!
• Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.
• If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
• I'm bored way too easily. I'm staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
• Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
• I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my…
• I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
• For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any…
• I don't try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and…
• I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.'
• When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to…

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