“It is a known fact that pain and pleasure are the two most basic elements of life. But the secret is to… — Bauvard Life Copy Share Image
“Privatization will always be a timid ideology as long as architects are allowed to unveil their buildings.” — Bauvard Privatization Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view.… — Bauvard Dream Copy Share Image
“I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I’m… — Bauvard Art Copy Share Image
“I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.” — Bauvard Character Copy Share Image
“Aping the lower class will only lead to fatherless children, unusable muscles, and the fear of tomorrow’s sobriety.” — Bauvard Children Copy Share Image
“The French: a people who have used their sophisticated culture and beautiful language to bequeath to the world the sliced potato.” — Bauvard English Copy Share Image
“Flatterers should be mistrusted, especially when they praise the dead. To seek a place in society is self-serving, but to seek one… — Bauvard Flattery Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I was sitting on your couch, relating my succession of ideas on subconscious influence. I asked… — Bauvard Dream Copy Share Image
“It is so wearisome having to represent things. That is why I refuse to look at abstract art. It is much too… — Bauvard Abstract art Copy Share Image
“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be… — Bauvard Communication Copy Share Image
“I shed a tear when I meet somebody who always quits. Reliable people are so rare in this world.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parent’s past, there’s leftover booze and contraceptives.” — Bauvard Child Copy Share Image
“I compensate for my debauchery by being brilliant at it. I make sacrifices for it by waking up in a gutter covered… — Bauvard Genius Copy Share Image
“One nation, under God, with consciousness – the practical man serves the highest abstraction with juggling training.” — Bauvard Fitness Copy Share Image
“Water is very bad for one’s health. People in third world countries seem to drink nothing but water, and they are always… — Bauvard Bad health Copy Share Image
“Nothing is more attractive than universal appeal. That is what makes androgyny the peacekeeping persuasion.” — Bauvard Androgyny Copy Share Image
“I threw an etiquette party and served nothing but beans and sparkling water. The topic of conversation was ‘excuse me’.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Experience: the vehicle of history. Teenagers: the driving force behind fatal accidents.” — Bauvard Accidents Copy Share Image
“Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax.” — Bauvard Comedy Copy Share Image
I am a foreigner, but I like to hide the fact. I'd rather people be prejudiced against my personality. — Bauvard Foreigners Copy Share Image
“Careers are not made in a family business, they are born – by patricide. Then they die from neglect, and avoid the… — Bauvard Business Copy Share Image
“Inconsistent parenting creates confusion. When I'm pitting mom against dad, they never know what to expect.” — Bauvard Child Copy Share Image
“Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college… — Bauvard Alphabet Copy Share Image
“Where does love reveal itself? In beds, sofas, bathtubs – each section of a department store has its advantages.” — Bauvard Department store Copy Share Image
“Be true to your divided selves. They're the only ones who will support you in moments of vacillation.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“It’s best to only exercise when the air conditioning is working properly outside. A strong wind ensures one doesn’t sweat very much.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“A hobby is labor disguising itself as leisure. It is extremely destructive to the boundaries of private life.” — Bauvard Hobby Copy Share Image
“The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see… — Bauvard Desensitized Copy Share Image
“Some people won't have kids, but I’m not going to have parents. I’m burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Sympathy is why when a man is getting mugged, you let him keep his shirt after you take his life. Funerals are… — Bauvard Funny Copy Share Image
“Frogs. We all want their long tongues and jumping power, but aspiring superheroes rarely consider the benefits of growing up as sperm.” — Bauvard Comic Copy Share Image
“Teacher: a master who, through personal example, inspires students to rebel against learning.” — Bauvard Education Copy Share Image
“I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the… — Bauvard Endowed Copy Share Image
“Without humor, we’d all be what we’re laughing at. Without arrogance, we’d be humiliated to admit we already are.” — Bauvard Arrogance Copy Share Image
“Sending love letters to first-graders will teach them lessons in cursive. But writing back will test their commitment.” — Bauvard Cursive Copy Share Image
“Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.” — Bauvard Culture Copy Share Image
“Trees are corrupting our parks. They should be arrested for loitering. For deciduous trees, add littering and indecent exposure to that list… — Bauvard Trees Copy Share Image
“We need to revitalize the American spirit. People are always asking ‘What would the founding fathers do,’ but I have yet to… — Bauvard American spirit Copy Share Image
“The only way to tell a fable is to introduce a human. The only way to tell a proverb is to introduce… — Bauvard Proverb Copy Share Image
