Allen Carr Quotes

16 quotes in 273 categories

• Wouldn’t that be an incredibly stupid thing to do? To say ‘I never want to smoke again’, then spend the rest of your life saying…
• The whole business of smoking is like forcing yourself to wear tight shoes just to get the pleasure of taking them off.
• A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it…
• I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.
• I didn't really want to be a comedian.
• I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.
• I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.
• I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.
• I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.
• I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.
• I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at…
• I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.
• I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.
• If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute.…
• You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and…
• Modern man threw a brick through his own window in order to sell himself a burglar alarm.

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