A. Whitney Brown

The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a…

— A. Whitney Brown

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking.…

— A. Whitney Brown

Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.

— A. Whitney Brown

There's a lot we should be able to learn from history. And yet history proves that we never do. In fact, the…

— A. Whitney Brown

Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging…

— A. Whitney Brown

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed…

— A. Whitney Brown

You know, you look at the chaos in the conservative camp right now, it's only too tempting to blame it all on…

— A. Whitney Brown

The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good…

— A. Whitney Brown

I think it's time to stop carping on the blunders of the President and give him some credit for creativity. I mean,…

— A. Whitney Brown

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates…

— A. Whitney Brown

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

— A. Whitney Brown

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing…

— A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

— A. Whitney Brown

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

— A. Whitney Brown

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

— A. Whitney Brown

I don't know if the unborn has rights, but I do know that being born again doesn't give you more rights.

— A. Whitney Brown

I don't know whether you have any rights before you're born. All I know is that being born again doesn't entitle you…

— A. Whitney Brown

Saint George killed the last dragon, and he was called a hero for it. I've never seen a dragon, and I wish…

— A. Whitney Brown

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

— A. Whitney Brown

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

— A. Whitney Brown

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing.

— A. Whitney Brown