Quote by Andrew Kaufman

““His accent was thick and British, the kind that makes North Americans feel slightly ashamed.””

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More by Andrew Kaufman

“Perhaps one of the hardest things about having kids is realizing that you love them more than your wife. that it's possible to love someone more than you love your wife. what's even worse is that it's a love you don't have to work at. it's just there. it just sits there, indestructible, getting stronger and stronger. while the love…

Andrew Kaufman

“Are these affairs an attempt to figure out who you are?" "Maybe..." "And you think that everyone else knows this? That they know who they are?" "I do." "You see there, that's your mistake," Nicola said. She cut away Lucy's bangs. She cut several long lengths from the back. "As far as I can tell, you remain a mystery to…

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“It’s true most superheroes have funny names. But they have to come up with these names by themselves. Think about how hard it is.…

Andrew Kaufman

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There are two ways to get rid of an anxiety monster,my friend-you either have a bath or a nap.

Andrew Kaufman

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“He knocks on doors and stands there. You’d be surprised how few doors get answered”

Andrew Kaufman

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“The Sloth would sit on his couch, paralyzed by all the things he wasn't taking care of. Then one day, a Wednesday, he just…

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“I don't remember a single monster before I met you.' he'd told Amphibian. 'Now they seem to be all over the place.' 'You mean there wasn't anything you were afraid of?' the Amphibian had asked him. 'lots.' 'What did they look like?' It was a funny question. 'They didn't look like anything. They were ideas,' Tom told him. 'Like not…

Andrew Kaufman