Change yourself Quote by Amir Levine
““Instead of thinking how you can change yourself in order to please your partner, as so many relationship books advise, think: Can this person provide what I need in order to be happy?””
About This Quote
Source Interview: The Science of Relationships Podcast, 2023
Instead of changing yourself to please a partner, assess whether the partner meets your essential needs for happiness.
In simple terms: Ask if the partner fulfills your core needs.
Key Takeaway
Prioritize mutual fulfillment.
Themes
relationships
self‑worth
needs
personal growth
partner compatibility
Mood
thoughtful
pragmatic
Type
advice
reflective
When to use this quote
- dating apps
- couples therapy
- personal boundaries
- relationship counseling
Key Concepts
psychology
relationship dynamics
self‑actualization
Questions to Reflect On
- What are your non‑negotiable needs?
- Can you grow together without losing self?
A Different Perspective
Changing yourself may be necessary for growth.
![“Whether plain or gorgeous, we've learned to appreciate [secure-type people] for what they really are -- the "supermates" of evolution -- and we hope that you will too.” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/106/amir-levine-19091_biology_whether-plain-or-gorgeous-we-ve-learned_760581.jpg)
![“our culture encourages you [with an anxious attachment style] to believe that many of your needs are illegitimate. But whether they are legitimate or not for someone else is beside the point. They are essential for your happiness, and that is what's important.” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/789/amir-levine-19091_happiness_our-culture-encourages-you-with-an-anxio_796547.jpg)
![“Oxytocin, a hormone and neuropeptide ... plays a major role in attachment processes and serves several purposes: It causes women to go into labor, strengthens attachment, and ... [increases] trust and cooperation. We get a boost of oxytocin in our brain during orgasm and even when we cuddle…” quote by Amir Levine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/676/amir-levine-19091_quality-time_oxytocin-a-hormone-and-neuropeptide-play_849739.jpg)
