Only a fool tries to reconstruct a bunch of grapes from a bottle of wine. — Jeanette Winterson Copy Share Image
Weed solved the puzzle...my life makes perfect sense when I'm high! — Jeanna Migliore Copy Share Image
“Vitaly owns half a carton of Lucky Strikes, an electric guitar, and a hangover” — Neal Stephenson Copy Share Image
My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking. — Jo Brand Copy Share Image
I've decided to take up smoking, my doctor said I wasn't getting enough tar. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait". — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Hello from the gutters of New York City, which are filled with dog manure, vomit, stale wine, urine, and blood. — David Berkowitz Copy Share Image
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Sibelius justified the austerity of his old age by saying that while other composers were engaged in manufacturing cocktails, he offered the… — Neville Cardus Copy Share Image
Pour out wine till I become a wanderer from myself; for in selfhood and existence I have felt only fatigue. — Rumi Copy Share Image
A glass of absinthe is as poetical as anything in the world. What difference is there between a glass of absinthe and… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
Smoking marijuana - or most everybody who smokes marijuana deals it in small amounts to their friends, innocently enough. I think it's… — George Jung Copy Share Image
My makeup wasn't smeared, I wasn't disheveled, I behaved politely, and I never finished off a bottle, so how could I be… — Betty Ford Copy Share Image
I got thrown out of Alcoholics because when the other clients saw me they thought they were having the DT's — Dave Dutton Copy Share Image
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
“Medical research has revealed that in about one-tenth of the population, the liver processes alcohol differently, releasing a chemical messenger that creates… — Kaylie Jones Copy Share Image
Worse that drugs is drug trafficking. Much worse. Drugs are a disease, and I don't think that there are good drugs or… — Jose Mujica Copy Share Image
... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“He was also, according to his file, “a first-rate scientist partial to beer,” the kind of mind Control had seen before. It… — Jeff VanderMeer Copy Share Image
They didn't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he's black. Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine… — D. L. Hughley Copy Share Image
The state of New York's got this group of people called smokers, and they know they're addicted, and despite all the efforts… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
Working in a restaurant is tough. You're standing in front of hot things, holding sharp things, for hours on end with little… — Sohla El-Waylly Copy Share Image
If you ever lit a cigarette in your life, you have very little will to live. — Neale Donald Walsch Copy Share Image
Take Texas the way Texas takes bourbon. Straight. It goes down easier. — Edna Ferber Copy Share Image
“I needed a large glass of chardonnay and a larger dose of Cary Grant.” — Tracy Kiely Copy Share Image
This is a revolution of the mind, get your mind together and get away from drugs. — James Brown Copy Share Image
It turned out I had always been a smoker. I just hadn't had any cigarettes. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
They say "Wine is Satan's falcon,"; apparently he uses it in hunting men! — Mehmet Murat Ildan Copy Share Image
To happy convents, bosomed deep in vines, Where slumber abbots, purple as their wines. — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
Now I'm drunk as fuck about to pass out, destination you're mother's couch. — Hollywood Undead Copy Share Image
With a cigar like in life, you got to have some length, and some girth. — D. L. Hughley Copy Share Image
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
