“Jeff: You know, you don't have to do this. Walter: Yeah, I could get a real job. Jeff: What would you do? Walter: I wanna be a greeter at Wal-Mart. Walter: What the hell's so funny? Jeff: At Wal-Mart, what… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark. — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
“Jeff: Are you married? Bubba J.: Yep. Jeff: Your wife pretty? Bubba J.: Ye... no! Jeff: What's the difference? Bubba J.: The light.” — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
“Look, I know I didn't finish school but that frickin' says 'Sa ntah ah nah!” — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
My goal in any show is to make people laugh. That's the No. 1 thing. Everything else pales in comparison to that. — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life and the interaction between the separate personalities on stage… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
[In my bio] is no drunk driving, there's no DUI's, there's no possession of cocaine, none of that stuff so you know, I don't… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage, and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
Even going to college, getting my degree in Radio TV and Film, as I was approaching the time when you have to decide on… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
![“[In my bio] is no drunk driving, there's no DUI's, there's no possession of cocaine, none of that stuff so you know, I don't know if that's good or bad. Everybody loves dirty laundry.” quote by Jeff Dunham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/511/jeff-dunham-6937_bios_in-my-bio-is-no-drunk-driving-there-s-no_366442.jpg)
