Waitress Quotes

“I'm a Waitress.”

— Charlaine Harris

I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.

— Jane Siberry

If the waitress has dirty ankles, the chili is good.

— Al McGuire

In my heart I'm just a lucky waitress.

— Denise Mina

“what are you?" he asked. "I'm a waitress.”

— Charlaine Harris

I took my waitress uniform. Seemed fitting.

— Shiri Appleby

Once a waitress, always a waitress.

— Sandra Bullock

“You better get used to touchy-feely around here, sweetie”

— Alex Rosa

When I was young, I went to the Sinai and worked as a waitress.

— Tzipi Livni

If I only did theatre I would have had to waitress, and I didn't want to waitress.

— Kim Cattrall

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.

— Ray Romano

I was a hostess, a waitress, a cafe manager, and a prep chef. For one job, I had to wear a hat…

— Jenna Blum

Once I cried in a restaurant because the waitress told me I couldn't eat my soup with a fork, I had to…

— Liam Payne

You gon have another drink or you just gon babysit, on to the next one, somebody call da waitress.

— Jay Z

I wasn't the best waitress in the world, but I was cheerful and worked hard.

— Lucy Alibar

If the waitress gives her a coloring book and crayons she's too young for you bro!

— Anonymous

My later jobs as a waitress felt like a posh paradise after my first one at Boston Market.

— Kat Timpf

I don't have a lot of skills, but one thing I can do is, I can compartmentalize. I can make that a…

— Dana Spiotta

You can't come out of drama school and think, 'It's all going to be amazing.' You have to expect to work in…

— Emilia Clarke

When I was growing up I always wanted to be a waitress. My sister opened a restaurant in Mississippi, and I went…

— Lacey Chabert

I've actually walked out on a girl for being rude to a waitress. I go in to that restaurant all the time…

— Travis Kelce

I had a meal in Pizza Hut and the waitress told me I didn't need to pay. So I decided to be…

— Gareth Gates

I love people and want to be good to people. If I'm in restaurant and somebody doesn't treat a waitress right, I…

— Kristen Stewart

I was a waitress for nine years, which I don't regret at all. It taught me about discipline. I was always writing;…

— Eve Ensler

“I didn’t have enough money to tip the waitress, so I offered to take her out on a date, provided she paid…

— Jarod Kintz

I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible…

— Amy Sedaris

I said, "I'll take the T-bone steak." A soft voice mooed, "Oh wow." And I looked up and realized The waitress was…

— Shel Silverstein

I was at a restaurant, and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress understood me. She asked me,…

— Mitch Hedberg

“I'm sorry. I can't serve him that item," the waitress said, only somewhat surprising her since she had a pretty good idea…

— R.L. Mathewson

In practice, you realise that most attempts to feed your baby in a public space will be met with subtle but palpable…

— Rowan Pelling

A poet could write volumes about diners, because they're so beautiful. They're brightly lit, with chrome and booths and Naugahyde and great…

— David Lynch

When I go into a restaurant, the waitress who brings me my meal, the cook in the back who prepared it, the…

— Gene Veith

The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but…

— Bill Hicks

All the beautiful waitresses existed like eternal responsibilities.

— Spalding Gray

I was not much good as a waitress.

— Mary Beard

In my heart Im just a lucky waitress.

— Denise Mina

I feel and look healthy. So I will look good in a waitress uniform.

— Alvin Leung

You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress.

— Greg Giraldo

“The waitress's eyes were wide. "Beat you off?”

— Tim Powers

I wanted to be a comedian. I wanted to meet waitresses and felt that being a comedian was my best way to…

— Dana Gould