Two Quotes by H. L. Mencken

Watching two women kiss is like watching two prizefighters shake hands.

— H. L. Mencken

Chopin--Two embalmers at work upon a minor poetthe scent of tuberosesAutumn rain.

— H. L. Mencken

There are two impossibilities in life: "just one drink" and "an honest politician."

— H. L. Mencken

The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do.

— H. L. Mencken

In the main, there are two sorts of books: those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.

— H. L. Mencken

When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or gain one wife and one friend.

— H. L. Mencken

Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we…

— H. L. Mencken

No healthy man, in his secret heart, is content with his destiny. He is tortured by dreams and images as a child…

— H. L. Mencken

If there were only three women left in the world, two of them would immediately convene a court-martial to try the other…

— H. L. Mencken

The two main ideas that run through all of my writing, whether it be literary criticism or political polemic are these: I…

— H. L. Mencken

Nietzsche, to the end of his days, remained a Russian pastor's son, and hence two-thirds of a Puritan; he erected his war…

— H. L. Mencken

This combat between proletariat and plutocracy is, after all, itself a civil war. Two inferiorities struggle for the privilege of polluting the…

— H. L. Mencken

Congress consists of one-third, more or less, scoundrels; two-thirds, more or less, idiots; and three-thirds, more or less, poltroons.

— H. L. Mencken

I am a strict monogamist: it is twenty years since I last went to bed with two women at once, and then…

— H. L. Mencken

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of…

— H. L. Mencken

The human race is divided into two sharply differentiated and mutually antagonistic classes: a smal l minority that plays with ideas and…

— H. L. Mencken

Liberty ... was a two-headed boon. There was first, the liberty of the people as a whole to determine the forms of…

— H. L. Mencken

By what route do otherwise sane men come to believe such palpable nonsense? How is it possible for a human brain to…

— H. L. Mencken

I have lived in one house in Baltimore for nearly forty-five years. It has changed in that time, as I have -…

— H. L. Mencken

Two simple principles lie at the bottom of the whole matter, and they may be precipitated into two rules. The first is…

— H. L. Mencken

Happiness, like health, is probably also only a passing accident. For a moment or two the organism is irritated so little that…

— H. L. Mencken

A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean by twice, what…

— H. L. Mencken

I am never much interested in the effects of what I write…I seldom read with any attention the reviews of my...books. Two…

— H. L. Mencken

The art of politics, under democracy, is simply the art of ringing it. Two branches reveal themselves. There is the art of…

— H. L. Mencken

What are the characters that I discern most clearly in the so-called Anglo-Saxon type of man? I may answer at once that…

— H. L. Mencken

We have had more brilliant Presidents than Cleveland, and one or two who were considerably more profound, but we have never had…

— H. L. Mencken

[Science] must be amoral by its very nature: The minute it begins separating facts into the two categories of good ones and…

— H. L. Mencken

All American wars (except the Civil War) have been fought with the odds overwhelmingly in favor of the Americans. In the history…

— H. L. Mencken