Twitter really is the funniest, most addictive, non-productive shit ever. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a guy says he's not in mood to talk with a girl. He probably have masturbated few seconds ago. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I say Hope to see you soon I really mean I hope you follow me on twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whenever I'm feeling happy, I log on twitter and read your inspirational tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when my wife asks me how my day was, because it's like, doesn't she read my tweets? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a guy tells you he's not ready for a relationship, it's ok to give him time. Just not any of yours...he's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When friends at work ask me to hang out I tell them I'm busy at home and friends at home that I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Theres two kinds of women: The kind that get married and have a bunch of kids, and The kind that stay single… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think I might vote for Barack Obama. Because I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I took nine years of French, but I can't remember any of it. I realized on the plane ride over that if… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No, leave that bra on. 'Coz I'm gonna fuck your boobies right out of it. is a romantic thing to say right… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, HAPPY, a spouse who is sometimes so because she has the best husband -- more often it is that she makes… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
