“A major existential breakthrough was averted Friday when, moments before he had a realization of monumental personal significance, 29-year-old local resident Darrell Gatsas instead turned to God. "He was so, so close to discovering something truly fundamental about himself and… — The Onion Copy Share Image
“You will be betrayed this week, time and time again, by your own ch'i.” — The Onion Copy Share Image
“A major existential breakthrough was averted Friday when, moments before he had a realization of monumental personal significance, 29-year-old local resident Darrell Gatsas instead… — The Onion Copy Share Image
