I don't play the tuba. The tuba plays me. My tuba is not actually a tuba, because it has never produced a musical sound. It is actually a giant frog pretending to be a tuba. — David Klass Copy Share Image
You may have created my past and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future. — David Klass Copy Share Image
I'm the beacon of hope, and I have mental powers you never dreamed of. Now be quiet. — David Klass Copy Share Image
But something cannot be made out of nothing. Dust rose in the air, caught the rays of the sun for a brief moment and… — David Klass Copy Share Image
“I do not want to alarm her with the thought that we are being stalked by a convicted egg roll felon.” — David Klass Copy Share Image
I don't play the tuba. The tuba plays me. My tuba is not actually a tuba, because it has never produced a musical sound.… — David Klass Copy Share Image
“Believe me, if Archimedes ever had the grand entrance of a girl as pretty as Gloria to look forward to, he would never have… — David Klass Copy Share Image
Are you by any chance acquainted with the words 'steel toe'? Or do the words 'permanent dent' mean anything to you?" My locker door… — David Klass Copy Share Image
“Shed stallion stands in surf gazing out to sea. So large. So noble. Once so powerful. Now completely defeated and alone.” — David Klass Copy Share Image
“The piece you have written for us is called "The Gambol of the Caribou." Now, Mr. Steenwilly, I don't mean to be critical. What… — David Klass Copy Share Image
You stand for nothing. You respect nobody. The music you dance to is devoid of beauty, its lyrics empty of humor or cleverness. — David Klass Copy Share Image
“My mother is no longer shouting or shaking me, but she is still holding me very tightly. Even though I didn't speak out loud,… — David Klass Copy Share Image
“The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future.… — David Klass Copy Share Image
