“This is Hell," he tried to explain for the third time. "Not a drop-in centre. You can't just turn up and say, 'Oh, I was just in the neighbourhood and thought I'd call by and have a bit of a… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“The only more immediate alternative that I can think of is a Tantric ritual involving necrophiliac sodomy and, frankly, I don’t think my back… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“You know what? Forget the warning. Read the book. Go insane. See if I care.” — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“I had wanted some cheese, but couldn't find any at short notice. It was a shame. Cheese goes so well with tragedy.” — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“All this bunch of so-called 'adults' was doing was making enemies of one another when what they really needed to be concentrating on was… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“Cats, as any rational person knows, are solitary, opportunistic, ambush predators, much like spiders, but with fewer legs and a better fan club.” — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“The sergeant was just noting that she was a very handsome woman, from somewhere in the eastern Mediterranean he would guess, when his eyes… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“They served to remind Cabal - should a reminder ever be necessary - why his social skills were so poor: people were loathsome and… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“Horst grinned. ‘Well, look at us. The necromancer and the vampire against the forces of elemental evil. The Brothers Cabal ride again!’ ‘Yeehaw,’ said… — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“Well, if I ever suffer brain damage I know there's always a career waiting for me in local politics.” — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
“A census taker once tried to test me. I let my front garden eat him.” — Jonathan L. Howard Copy Share Image
