I hate it when it's a 'PICTURE PERFECT MOMENT' and you don't have a camera. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook is our past. Twitter is our present. Unemployment is our future. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Love Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't spend too much time on the bed, only prostitutes can make money there..So wake up! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Cloning seems like a good idea. I'd have much more time to come up with funny tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
THE AWKWARD MOMENT When you realize you're giving your pen a blowjob... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: Let's just leave the toilet seat up at all times, then you don't have to mess with it… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One time, I drunkenly threw up into a mailbox and yelled First class delivery and now I'm a dad. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Things shall fall into its perfect place, in the perfect time, at a perfect setting that you will always be able to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just because I walked away doesn't mean you won. It simply means your dumb ass wasn't worth another second of my time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't waste your time giving someone a second chance, when there is someone better out there waiting for their first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2.) Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3.) Commercials while watching a good show. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Time always flies when you're having fun. Actually because time hates you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time I wish I was a fat guy is when I have to fight a fat guy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a guy stares at you for long periods of time, he wishes you were his. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time someone talks to me today I just start yawning, because fuck what they have to say. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time I enjoy listening to people complain is when I have my earphones on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I start conversations with Hey, I'm fine and I'm sure you're too to save time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only time a woman should have a man by the balls is when she's sucking on them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you can't say goodbye to your past, then you just can't say hello to your future. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That moment when you have to beg yourself to stop crying and tell yourself, 'Be Strong' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
