Tell Joke Quotes

The awkward momment when you tell a joke and no one laughs lol

— MoCHY

Every time I tell a joke it's different somehow.

— Josh Blue

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

— Carol Burnett

I would tell you a joke about Chris Brown and Rihanna but you'd never get the punch line .-.

— Lyndon Renison Swasey Jr

Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.

— Joss Whedon

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

— Steven Wright

I'm very careful not to tell a joke just to get a reaction.

— Katherine Ryan

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

— Norman Wisdom

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke…

— Garrison Keillor

If you've got 300 people in the room and you tell a joke, a hundred laugh, a hundred smile and a hundred…

— Chris McCausland

That moment when you tell a joke but no one hears you except one person who repeats it louder and makes everyone…

— The Blog That Describe Your Life

I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand…

— Don Rickles

When I tell a joke, I don't think about who's listening to it. I tell the jokes I think are funny.

— Lee Mack

I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our…

— Don Rickles

I always say, if I tell you a joke right now and it's funny, you laugh. Now, we set the lights, and…

— Martin Landau

If I've got a black joke, and I can't tell it in Oakland, then I shouldn't tell the joke anywhere else.

— Carlos Mencia

I never could tell a joke. I just started talking to the audience, and when the drunks would yell, "Hey, when do…

— Don Rickles

You learn timing on the road. You learn structure and how to read an audience. You learn so much about the business…

— Marlon Wayans

You know, I liken it to - when you write a joke for somebody else, it's like you - you know, like…

— Neal Brennan

So when you tell a joke, you want to make someone laugh, or if you tell a story about someone who had…

— Peter Guber

Part of my writing style can be attributed to my mother's impatience with comedy, because whenever I told her a story she…

— Patricia Marx

There's a great line by Joss Whedon: "Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of…

— Declan Shalvey

I love funny people, and when I'm with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because…

— Paul Feig

I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better…

— Sayed Kashua

“Look, I get it. You can’t tell a joke without worrying you’ll lose your job. Your twenty-something can’t find work. Your town…

— Katy Tur

I've found great virtue in two-thirds of the way into the message; right before I'm really want to nail home a point,…

— Max Lucado

“You guys like to tell jokes and giggle and kid around, huh? Giggling like a bunch of young broads in a school…

— Quentin Tarantino

To this day, to this very day, except for television, I've never had a writer. Anything I've ever done on the stage,…

— Don Rickles

I've told Michael Jackson jokes. If you got really technical, you could say those are jokes about child molestation. You could, if…

— Chris Rock

Humor is so culturally based that when I try to tell a joke as me being a white American, if I tell…

— Michael Emerson

Jessica Biel is a really interesting case. She actually called us after the table read and said, "You guys should go meaner."…

— Raphael Bob-Waksberg

Rick said, "Is there some place we can go and talk?" "You want to talk?," Keir raised an eyebrow. "I never thought…

— Josh Lanyon

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

— Don Rickles

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.

— Dave Attell

I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.

— Bill Burr

When I tell a joke, I immediately know whether it's funny or not.

— Carlos Mencia

if you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke.

— Kiera Cass

“Tell me a joke and I will know how you behave ~ Tell me a quote and I may be your wise slave”

— Yasser Kashef

I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

— Don Rickles

Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke.

— Bob Newhart