“And then Dieter was like, 'Over my dead body!' "And I was thinking my roomie was about to get his wish. "And then Rei got super vampy and was like, 'Yield to my power!' "And then Dieter started grunting and… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“Rei glanced over at me and nodded. “Exactly, Dieter. Just avoid having the cattle and keep walking.” I cleared my throat. “A cow. It’s… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“To pass the time, I made valiant strides in my effort to read Ulysses, but feared I was losing the war. A hundred pages… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“And then Dieter was like, 'Over my dead body!' "And I was thinking my roomie was about to get his wish. "And then Rei… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“Her hair was bright red, her skin, pale, and I can't explain why, but something about her shouted, 'I heart granola.' She belonged in… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“I snipped off the stem and took a knee. "For you, my love. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“I am aware that humans believe they are the sole owners of this curse, but all creatures love, Dieter. Love is our one shared… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“My Japanese designed, vacuum-sealed thermos was one of my most prized possessions. I had filled it up before I went to sleep so there… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“There were many ways to extract information if you have more time? but if you were in a rush, they recommended flaying, crushing digits,… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“I fought the mighty urge to watch her put it on. My libido had just burst out of the closet and was tripping over… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“In the past five minutes, I had managed to tease my libido, scald my crotch, and catch a world-class elbow with my forehead.” — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“Son, a real battlefield lacks dignity and honor. When lives are being spent—actual human lives—those high-minded concepts lose their meaning. All that matters is… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“Let me take a moment to point out the glaringly obvious. Humans are idiots.” — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
