“Her hair was bright red, her skin, pale, and I can't explain why, but something about her shouted, 'I heart granola.' She belonged in one of those commercials for asthma medicines. The one with two women skipping through the park… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“Rei glanced over at me and nodded. “Exactly, Dieter. Just avoid having the cattle and keep walking.” I cleared my throat. “A cow. It’s… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“To pass the time, I made valiant strides in my effort to read Ulysses, but feared I was losing the war. A hundred pages… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“And then Dieter was like, 'Over my dead body!' "And I was thinking my roomie was about to get his wish. "And then Rei got super vampy and was like, 'Yield to my power!' "And then Dieter started grunting and looked super uncomfortable. "And then Rei took a step forward. "And then Dieter dropped to his knees, but a moment… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share
“Her hair was bright red, her skin, pale, and I can't explain why, but something about her shouted, 'I heart granola.' She belonged in… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“I snipped off the stem and took a knee. "For you, my love. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“I am aware that humans believe they are the sole owners of this curse, but all creatures love, Dieter. Love is our one shared… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“My Japanese designed, vacuum-sealed thermos was one of my most prized possessions. I had filled it up before I went to sleep so there… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“There were many ways to extract information if you have more time? but if you were in a rush, they recommended flaying, crushing digits,… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“I fought the mighty urge to watch her put it on. My libido had just burst out of the closet and was tripping over… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“In the past five minutes, I had managed to tease my libido, scald my crotch, and catch a world-class elbow with my forehead.” — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“Son, a real battlefield lacks dignity and honor. When lives are being spent—actual human lives—those high-minded concepts lose their meaning. All that matters is… — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
“Let me take a moment to point out the glaringly obvious. Humans are idiots.” — B. Justin Shier Copy Share Image
