I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f-k me. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“Well, man, you know what they say." No, I don't. I don't know what they say. I don't even know who they are. Who… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, 'Well, one day I'll be able to put… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
And there's a metal train that's a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her, How long til it… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I write about what I know: teenage dating, overly charged sexuality, all the things that make you uncomfortable. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
Comedy doesn't really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult - I don't treat it like a child or… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
I've always liked the format of YouTube, sharing things for free, which is a nice exchange between people. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
