Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“(Faces are all important. Without faces it would be impossible to identify our friends. If we had to recognize people by their bodies, we… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
