“Kids are always hanging on your tits,” I added. “By the time they grow up, you’ve got tits down to your knees… — Nick Wilgus Children Copy Share Image
“I knew you’d say yes. You’re so easy.” “You’ve obviously never tried to get into my pants.” — Nick Wilgus Easy Copy Share Image
“We don’t hide crazy,” I said. “We put it on the porch and let it entertain the neighbors.” — Nick Wilgus Gay-romance Copy Share Image
“I'll wipe that smile off your face," he vowed. "And how do you plan to do that?" "Put the kid to bed… — Nick Wilgus Vowed Copy Share Image
“The Lord gave you a backbone because He wanted you to use it. So use it.” — Nick Wilgus Backbone Copy Share Image
“By the way,” he said. “You know that little black thing that you carry around? It rings and beeps and stuff?” “My… — Nick Wilgus Phone Copy Share Image
“If you love Southern men, raise your glass. If you don't raise your standards.” — Nick Wilgus Raise your standards Copy Share Image
“God, fate, the universe, luck - we had been thrown together in this thing we call life for reasons we might never… — Nick Wilgus Destiny Copy Share Image
“It’s good,” Jackson said. “You’re just saying that,” I replied. “No, really, it’s good. A little greasy….” “The grease is part of… — Nick Wilgus Heart attack Copy Share Image
“Better feed him more beans or you’re going to have a midget on your hands, Wiley,” he said. “It’s bad enough to… — Nick Wilgus God help Copy Share Image
“It reminds me of the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale." "What's that?" he asked. "In a… — Nick Wilgus Fairy Copy Share Image
“What do you do for fun in this town? Well, you know. Wash dishes. Wipe up baby drool, put a new quart… — Nick Wilgus Humor Copy Share Image
“So you’re lying to me again?” “It’s a Southern tradition.” “Are there any crocs in the water?” “I done told you there… — Nick Wilgus Humor Copy Share Image
“I don’t think I want to visit your house anymore.” “Sometimes neither do I.” “And your grandfather….” “Leave my Papaw alone.” “He’s… — Nick Wilgus Funny Copy Share Image
“Oh, sorry, I’m thinking about Cousin Mary. Talk about a dog. That girl was so ugly we had to put a bag… — Nick Wilgus Copy Share Image
“I WOKE the next morning with a silly smile on my face. Like Donna Fargo, I was the "Happiest Girl in the… — Nick Wilgus Happiest Copy Share Image
“I always tell Noah to behave or I’ll sell him on eBay. You’ve got to have some way to keep these little… — Nick Wilgus Duct tape Copy Share Image
“You’re not so bad-looking yourself. A bit too clean, like a metrosexual fella. Probably got a bunch of antiaging cream in your… — Nick Wilgus Looking pretty Copy Share Image
“...My friend Bo had just finished skinny-dipping when one of those bastards came trotting out of the woods and bit his dick… — Nick Wilgus Friendship Copy Share Image
“For an immature little preppy guy, you're pretty smart." "An immature little preppy guy ?" he repeated in an outraged tone of… — Nick Wilgus Gym class Copy Share Image
“Don’t swear in front of my kids, Papaw,” Bill said hotly. “Daddy, hush,” Mama said. “I’ll swear anytime I goddamn want to,… — Nick Wilgus Funny Copy Share Image
“What he lacked in experience, he made up for in enthusiasm and the sweetness of innocence.” — Nick Wilgus Enthusiasm Copy Share Image
“Every time a woman has a period, it’s a spontaneous abortion because the egg didn’t take,” I said, undeterred. “Are we going… — Nick Wilgus Time Copy Share Image
“But I don't just want you to get into my pants," he said. " I want you to get into my life.” — Nick Wilgus Life Copy Share Image
“Can you do me a favor?” he asked. “What’s that?” “Shut up and kiss me like you mean it.” So I did.” — Nick Wilgus Asked Copy Share Image
“Please, sweetie darling honey baby, you hunk of a man, you?” “When you put it that way….” — Nick Wilgus Hunk Copy Share Image
“ Do you love me a lot? he asked. I nodded. As big as a house? he asked. Bigger. The grocery store?… — Nick Wilgus Grocery store Copy Share Image
“Bad weather’s moving in,” the old bird said, finally handing me a check. Never seen so many tornadoes in my life. We… — Nick Wilgus Bad weather Copy Share Image
“This is the South and we have our own ways of doing things down here. We're not going to sit back in… — Nick Wilgus Billy Copy Share Image
