Selfish Bastard Quotes by Tom Holt

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

— Tom Holt

I don't read the Sunday papers; or the dailies, either

— Tom Holt

Lawyers are predators in grey worsted

— Tom Holt

“A lifetime in the business had taught her that, apart from the few good people that work along-side you,nobody is to be trusted,ever,because sooner…

— Tom Holt

“The conscientious arsonist doesn't just set the building on fire; first he fills the fire extinguishers with petrol.”

— Tom Holt

“Just when you’ve squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse…

— Tom Holt

Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great…

— Tom Holt

There’s nothing bad about reincarnation per se, it’s basically a very good system, cost-effective and ecologically friendly.

— Tom Holt

After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something…

— Tom Holt

Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's…

— Tom Holt

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot

— Tom Holt

“Georgie paused on the threshold for a moment as if hesitant to enter the habitation of such a perjurer lest it should be struck…

— Tom Holt

“{She] laughed so that the street seemed full of little silver bells,”

— Tom Holt

“When you're about to die, your whole life's supposed to flash before your eyes. When you fall in true love, on the other hand,…

— Tom Holt

In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.

— Tom Holt