“I went to school in Hooks, Texas, where most people can't even read the name stitched over their own pocket.” — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it omance and adventure. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
They'll give you an Oscar if they think you're about to drop dead. The problem with The Oscars is, the average age of The… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
I hate The Oscars. The Oscars make me want to throw things at the TV. In the ancient history of The Oscars, people would… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on 35 years… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
You're not a real Texan till you've been kicked out of every decent state in America. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
I always remind people why The Oscars got started in 1928: It was an effort by the studios to suppress the unions. They started… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare… — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us. — Joe Bob Briggs Copy Share Image
