Cell phones have gotten so small, you can't tell who's a cell phone user and who's a schizophrenic. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
Television series are like the stock market. There's room for bears and bulls but no room for pigs. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I didn't need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
When I was off TV, people would ask me to please come back, which I think was their way of saying, 'There's nothing out… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work. Then I… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
But I really believe that if you have the ability, there is an obligation to make people laugh — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
The reason I'm a psychologist is based in part on my telephone routines. Much of my humor comes out of reaction to what other… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
