Joseph Heller

“I'm a regular supra man”

— Joseph Heller

Suppose everyone on our side felt that way?

— Joseph Heller

“You will hurt your foot.”

— Joseph Heller

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

— Joseph Heller

where are the snowdens of yesteryear?

— Joseph Heller

Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.

— Joseph Heller

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

— Joseph Heller

Major Major never sees anyone in his office while he's in his office.

— Joseph Heller

“You've got flies in your eyes. That's why you can't see them.”

— Joseph Heller

“Depreciating motels, junked automobiles, and quick-food joints grow like amber waves of grain.”

— Joseph Heller

The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?

— Joseph Heller

“Of course you're dying. We're all dying. Where the devil else do you think you're heading?”

— Joseph Heller

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

— Joseph Heller

“That crazy bastard may be the only sane one left.”

— Joseph Heller

She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.

— Joseph Heller

When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little…

— Joseph Heller

“He could not make them shut-up; they were worse than women. They had not brains enough to be introverted and repressed.”

— Joseph Heller

Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.

— Joseph Heller

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.

— Joseph Heller

“Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of…

— Joseph Heller

“But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been…

— Joseph Heller

“Appleby was a fair-haired boy from Iowa who believed in God, Motherhood and the American Way of Life, without ever thinking about…

— Joseph Heller

If a man is going to leave one wife to marry another, it's better if he divorces the first before he marries…

— Joseph Heller

“There is no light. I don't feel like starting my generator. I used to get a big kick out saving people's lives.…

— Joseph Heller

“Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. "That's some…

— Joseph Heller

You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate." "Consciously,…

— Joseph Heller

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't,…

— Joseph Heller

“He was constantly defending his Communist friends to his right-wing enemies and his right-wing friends to his Communist enemies, and he was…

— Joseph Heller

“Well, maybe it's true," Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. "Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many…

— Joseph Heller

“There was shish-kabob for lunch, huge, savory hunks of spitted meat sizzling like the devil over charcoal after marinating seventy-two hours in…

— Joseph Heller

“Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly…

— Joseph Heller

“His response to them as sexual beings was one of frenzied worship and idolatry. They were lovely, satisfying, maddening manifestations of the…

— Joseph Heller

“Captain Flume was obsessed with the idea that Chief White Halfoat would tiptoe up to his cot one night when he was…

— Joseph Heller

“There were usually not nearly as many sick people inside the hospital as Yossarian saw outside the hospital, and there were generally…

— Joseph Heller

“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers…

— Joseph Heller

“I used to get a big kick out of saving people’s lives. Now I wonder what the hell’s the point, since they…

— Joseph Heller

Who's they?" He wanted to know. "Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?" "Every one of them," Yossarian told…

— Joseph Heller

“His heart cracked, and he fell in love. He wondered if she would marry him. “Tu sei pazzo,” she told him with…

— Joseph Heller

“Finding Yossarian there in the hospital and seeing all that he's up to, with that enthusiastic blonde for a friend and that…

— Joseph Heller

It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.

— Joseph Heller