“Why can't I remember our family Christmas, or a warm spring day, or anything that might have been pleasant? It is as though the filter of recall is itself altered, so that it blocks out everything but the darkest colors… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“My unhappiness precluded all else; unhappiness is a kind of narcissism, in which nothing that does not resonate with your unhappiness can interest you.” — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“Why can't I remember our family Christmas, or a warm spring day, or anything that might have been pleasant? It is as though the… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“I needed cutting now the way a diabetic needs insulin. It was a bulwark, steady and unyielding, I could throw up against the insidious,… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“You might imagine that a person would resort to self-mutilation only under extremes of duress, but once I'd crossed that line the first time,… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“For some reason, I believed that I had above all else an obligation to protect everyone-- my teachers, my family-- from the knowledge of… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“The chaos in my head spun itself into a silk of silence. I had distilled myself to the immediacy of hand, blade, blood, flesh.” — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“It didn’t occur to me that there was something decidedly odd in finding a box of razor blades aesthetically appealing. I wonder if a… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“How gratifying it is to amuse. How easy it gets to toss off a witticism to ease any awkwardness, to sidestep any solemnity. When… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“Once you take to the habit of deception, every new lie comes that much easier. Though to me it wasn't so much lies as… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“The fear of an unknown never resolves, because the unknown expands infinitely outward, leaving you to cling pitifully to any small shelter of the… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“That's when I wanted to cut. I cut to quiet the cacophony. I cut to end this abstracted agony, to reel my selves back… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“Somehow however just knowing that I could fully expect unhappiness to return – if not predictably then nevertheless reliably – was strangely liberating. The… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
“Well how many troubles should equal a legitimate reason for self-mutilation? Ten? Twenty? One hundred? And how monumental must these troubles be? There’s probably… — Caroline Kettlewell Copy Share Image
