Redneck Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy · Page 4

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas…

— Jeff Foxworthy

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the…

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your home has more miles on it than your car.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

— Jeff Foxworthy

If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.

— Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs…

— Jeff Foxworthy