If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window! — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share
