When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“When a Dragon, an Elf, and a Human walk into a bar, the Human is always going to be the punch line.” — Bryan Fields Copy Share Image
I don't really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It's all about them. They talk about themselves… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
When you're 89, dementia develops. I mean, I've told a story onstage, and I'm telling it with a full heart, and I… — Jerry Lewis Copy Share Image
“Sometimes a well-placed sound effect can be more poignant than a boxing glove-sized punch line.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
GIFs work because the punch line is instantaneous. It's entirely different from almost any other form of content on the Internet, which… — Alan Schaaf Copy Share Image
I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I've spent my fortune, tarnished my public view and made myself the brunt of punch line after punch line. — Mindy McCready Copy Share Image
If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you… — Buddy Hackett Copy Share Image
“In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine joke; a long joke that's being continually retold in an accent too thick and… — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“You've got to face facts and the fact is life is a joke, a fucking bad joke, or, no, a bad fucking… — Jeet Thayil Copy Share Image
I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage,… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
Ninety-nine percent is in the delivery. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound… — Buddy Hackett Copy Share Image
One must remember that in the '70s, Democrats still grasping for Camelot were desperately pinning their hopes on Teddy while Republicans were… — Chuck Todd Copy Share Image
A witch, a vampire, and a pixy walk into a bar, I thought as I led the way into the Squirrel’s End.… — Kim Harrison Copy Share Image
“Helen felt as if the whole world had turned into some gigantic punch line that she had waited patiently for, and then… — Josephine Angelini Copy Share Image
“The music is meant to be provocative—which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily obnoxious, but it is (mostly) confrontational, and more than that, it’s… — Jay-Z Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were crying, and I couldn’t tell if it was because you were sad or because… — Dora J. Arod Copy Share Image
I gotta find a way, lookin for direction/ Lovin any fan that I see standin in my section/ Laughin at you tough… — Tactics Copy Share Image
“Confidence don't mean jack shit in the real world, sis," she once said. I feel myself finding the courage to trust those… — Dave Matthes Copy Share Image
When I first started rapping, when I switched my style to more like a punch line style - this is when I'm… — J. Cole Copy Share Image
Ew. Someone put the dog out, "Rosalie murmured wrinkling her nose. Have you herd this one, Psycho? how do a blond's brain… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a… — Kapil Sharma Copy Share Image
Dangling punch lines to forgotten stories remain in the language like the smile of the Cheshire cat. — William Safire Copy Share Image
“I didn’t hear what was said, but I laughed, because I was too embarrassed to embarrass him by breaking up his punch… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
If you have to do something, write me a funny AIDS play. Sure you can. It's the biggest joke played on us… — Robert Patrick Copy Share Image
“The setup is where the pattern is established and everything goes in the same direction. The punch line is where a train… — Andrii Sedniev Copy Share Image
“Dude, estoy aqui por loco, no por pendejo," which was the punch line to the funniest Spanish joke I knew. Okay, the… — Cory Doctorow Copy Share Image
“In sign, you more often than not start a story with the punch line. It’s the telling that is important.” — Lou Ann Walker Copy Share Image
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
“Men lying to get women into bed has kept the human race going for centuries!” he crowed, delighted that I hadn’t seen… — Claudia Rowe Copy Share Image
I don't really know what is shocking. When you tell the story of a man who is beheaded, you have to show… — Roman Polanski Copy Share Image
When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested… — Brian P. Cleary Copy Share Image
Pulling a gun's trigger can be an appalling act. But if it is suicidal drawing fire to save someone, it has an… — Robert M. Sapolsky Copy Share Image
Saying gay people shouldn't be the punchline is basically saying don't make people the punch line, which I think is ridiculous. The… — Billy Eichner Copy Share Image
A lot of times, in other films in the past, you see some drag roles that make you go, 'OK we're the… — Shangela Copy Share Image
It's nice to recall our mistakes in the past. Joke about real life, punch lines, and laugh about our dumb old selves.… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
I often speak publicly, and when I do, I also get to listen to other presenters. The most memorable are the ones… — Lewis Howes Copy Share Image
Some movies run off the rails. This one is like the train crash in The Fugitive. I watched it in mounting gloom,… — Roger Ebert Copy Share Image
My father who in this case was an obsessive life-long storyteller, and by a very peculiar trick of my father's. My father… — Stephen Greenblatt Copy Share Image
