“Hear that, Mr. De Pfeffel Cantab or whatever your name is? That's the sound of the villa in the South of France you could have bought crumbling to dust.” — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“I've glued the letter directly into my diary, as it's so staggeringly imbecilic that any attempt to summarize its contents would make my brain leak out through my ears.” — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“Today was so pointless that when I tried to write about it a moment ago, my pen ran out because it couldn't take the… — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“The harsh wind of the Egyptian desert is even worse than the harsh wind of the Egyptian pharaoh.” — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“Hear that, Mr. De Pfeffel Cantab or whatever your name is? That's the sound of the villa in the South of France you could… — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“Today I asked Chloe to be my girlfriend,and she agreed. I sank my teeth into her neck and drank from her jugular in the… — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“I wanted to tell him my new clothes were down to a medical condition, but when I tried to speak, all that came out… — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“What a strange god to worship. I’m sure he’s great at answering your prayers, as long as you want a stick fetching or a… — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“And how does my leg feel after all that so-called treatment? Worse, of course.” — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
“I've glued the letter directly into my diary, as it's so staggeringly imbecilic that any attempt to summarize its contents would make my brain… — Tim Collins Copy Share Image
