“Dick is playing golf today. He asked if I would caddie for him, but I said I would prefer to have a complete stranger walk up and drill holes in my head with a Black & Decker.” — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“When I was done raking and bagging, I banged on the door and demanded entry /...let me in by the hair on your chinny,… — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“I'm so bored I could do something, but can't be arsed. I'm unmotivated as well as bored. It's a killer combination.” — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“Bedsprings creaking, headboard banging, heavy breathing in triplicate (the bedroom sounds like a convention of asthmatic dirty phone callers have gathered there)” — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“I think the official name for such activity is procrastination by chocolate hobnobs. Successful authors are the type who type and who do not… — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“Has something happened to upset you today?” “Yeah, I had an argument with a vacuum cleaner hose, it wanted me to it a blowjob,… — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“I glared at him. “You didn't leave me alone for five minutes, you left me alone for a week. I could have hacked myself… — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“...the secret of a good relationship is to accept and enjoy what the other person is willing to offer instead of yearning for something… — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“Bloody Bears, don't bother getting one as a pet, they're too demanding and they shed everywhere.” — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“The Jesus Factor it’s called, instant resurrection and a second cumming.” — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
“If rumours are true a snail’s sex organs are located on the back of its head, how about that eh? It gives a whole… — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
