I always hated those classic kid movies like Old Yeller or The Yearling where the beloved pet dies. What would be so wrong with having those damn kids learn their lessons about mortality from watching Grandpa kick? Then at least… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
We are pretty sure that we and our pets share the same reality, until one day we come home to find that our wistful, intelligent friend who reminds us of our better self has decided a good way to spend… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
More than any other personality trait, my mother seemed to be ruled by anger and sadness. She seemed to hate being a mother. Watching… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
The whole narcissism and echo syndrome is usually the result of early childhood training. Those are very hard habits for anyone to break. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
I really enjoyed Merrill Markoe's Guide To Glamorous Living, which was a weird hybrid reality/sketch thing I wrote, directed, and hosted, with two male-model… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
It's surely no accident that there are horoscopes in Vogue, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Woman, New Woman, Elle and Cosmo ... but not Sports Illustrated, GQ,… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Beware the old man in young guy's clothes. If he's over 35 and comes to pick you up looking as though he's headed for… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“Maybe this is kind of cliche, but animals, well, dogs, are what I do for a living. One reason I like spending time with… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“I'm clear with all my bitches...I hump her till she bites me. Then it's adios bitches, time for BALL.” — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
