You can tell a lot about someone's personality if you know his star sign -Jesus, born on 25 December, fed the five thousand, walked on water -typical Capricorn. — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
The mobile phone, the fax, emails. Call me old fashioned, but what's wrong with a chain of beacons? — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
You might heckle me now - but when I get home, I've got a chicken in the oven. — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about someone's personality if you know his star sign -Jesus, born on 25 December, fed the five thousand, walked… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face. — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
My dad used to say 'Always fight fire with fire,' which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder. — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
