Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
And, by the way, how come all the people who were so in favor of unilateral nuclear disarmament are so opposed to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One of these suburbs is actually named Stalingrad, which goes to show that the French have learned nothing about politics since they… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Why do elites hate the poor? It's xenophobia. They don't know any poor people - except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Lampoon ran out of steam in the early '80s, and wasn't able to reinvent itself because it ran out of talent. People… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, because they don't read 'The Theory of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Modern elites live in bubbles of liberal affluence like Ann Arbor, Brookline, the Upper West Side, Palo Alto, or Chevy Chase. These… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If libertarianism were easy to explain, and it weren't easy to exaggerate the effects of libertarianism, I think it would have been… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to egalitarians, to people obsessed with fairness, to American presidential candidates in the year… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Finally, one night we were smoking pot [with Michael O'Donoghue] and talking about the people that are invariably in high school, whether… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government usually doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is political. People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Maybe it's understandable what a history of failures America's foreign policy has been. We are, after all, a country full of people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When I left the Lampoon, I went west to try that out, and discovered that I hated it.They were awful people turning… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Everything on a boat has a different name than it would have if it weren't on a boat. Either this is ancient… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don't smoke have a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go outdoors much,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Rich people don't like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don't go in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics doesn't work. Look at the parts of America where government has had the most power, where government has spent the most… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We're gonna be in a world of hurt if we don't get it fixed, because there's going to be billions of people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Constitution is an equally forthright piece of work and quite succinct ... giving the complete operating instructions for a nation of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Most people sort of enjoy going to work because of the socialisation, a chance to flirt with co-workers and so on, but… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The poor of the world cannot be made rich by the redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In the wake of Animal House, all of us at the Lampoon had a lot of Hollywood opportunities. We could definitely get… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The minute somebody joins a committee... they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
...let's talk about soccer scores. There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
![“Finally, one night we were smoking pot [with Michael O'Donoghue] and talking about the people that are invariably in high school, whether you go to prep school or public school or ghetto school or rich suburban school. And actually, it spun off from a Kurt Vonnegut quote.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a43/p-j-o-rourke-184_ghetto_finally-one-night-we-were-smoking-pot-wi_324321.png)
![“I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found that they had essentially the same problems as they do now.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/346/p-j-o-rourke-184_amount_i-think-in-the-bill-clinton-era-if-peopl_1906545.jpg)
