People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Cats possess so many of the same qualities as some poeple that it is often hard to tell the people and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've been a New Yorker for ten years, and the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric:… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to collectivists, to people who believe that wealth is best obtained by redistribution, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Most of the people who have grabbed hold of climate change and greenhouse gases, pollution, oil dependency - they have another motive,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I've seen, ancient, filthy houses… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The preamble to the Constitution states: "We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered. It's not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's nothing inherently lame about electricity. I've got a basement full of power tools that all operate with electricity, and they're manly… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've never been able to get it straight about what these people who are worried about the trade deficit are worried about. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politicians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Whenever people tell you they are going to wipe the slate clean, it's your slate they mean to wipe. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People have a right to my food, a right to my housing, and a right to my good job for my decent… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Washington journalists can afford to live almost as well as people who work for a living. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's such a self-conscious balance that goes into television. Also, these are not people that think things through. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
