“You know how they won’t let parents with kiddos sit in the exit row? It has nothing to do with safety. They’re worried you might open the emergency door and throw your kid out.” — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
“I love when I blow my nose while I’m peeing. Not only am I multitasking, but the pee comes out faster so I’m saving… — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
“You know how they won’t let parents with kiddos sit in the exit row? It has nothing to do with safety. They’re worried you… — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I hear feminists call God a She, and I’m like, dude, I am all for equal rights and equal pay, but there is… — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
“I love when those annoyingly perfect moms brag that they ONLY give their kids all-natural shit. You know what’s all-natural? Poisonous berries and ’shrooms.” — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I give my kid the finger through the baby monitor for all the shit she put me through that day. It just makes… — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
“Mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama mama… — Karen Alpert Copy Share Image
