“Take sex, for instance.' 'What do you want me to do with it?' 'Try to be serious for a moment. Take the… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong; now I think that's why… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Loyalty to the school to which your parents pay to send you seemed to me like feeling loyalty to Selfridges. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
“He's a cabinet minister and his mother was a cook. My father was a doctor and I'm a cook. Perhaps I passed… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
I'd been told of all the things you're meant to feel when your father dies. Sudden freedom, growing up, the end of… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
“A hundred pounds! He couldn't remember ever having seen a hundred pounds, all at one time. He found himself envying his father,… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
One thing my father said was that if you find yourself in a country where you have to carry papers, you know… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
My father was the doyen of the divorce barristers. He was an extremely erudite and very famous divorce barrister. So that, when… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
“Take sex, for instance.' 'What do you want me to do with it?' 'Try to be serious for a moment. Take the sex life… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Do we want blanks, asterisks and exclamation marks which people can fill in with their own imaginations, or are we prepared and strong enough… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Voting Liberal is a non-thing. Historically, it might be a good idea to have a Conservative government, because change is a good thing. But… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
No brilliance is required in law, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
I try and treat my children from the age of ten months as if they were totally grown up, which I think is the… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake; all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have… — John Mortimer Copy Share Image