Those rosy memories we all share are actually memories from our favorite TV shows. We've confused our own childhoods with episodes of "Ozzie and Harriet," "Father Knows Best," and "The Brady Bunch." In real life, Ozzie had a very visible… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Throughout their lives, women try to pummel their bodies into some phantom ideal shape that exists only with a lot of airbrushing. ... I… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Here is Heimel's Law: Anything you fantasize about won't come true. So just cut it out. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
We have no faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
“Prune these alleged friends ruthlessly from your life. You need all the positive reinforcement you can get. You need friends who think you're fabulous,… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
There is one thing that humans strive for with every cell, every gene, every nerve fiber of our beings. ... More than Mallomars, more… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Men, being conditioned badly, are always feeling nooses closing around their necks, even dumpy boors no girl would take on a bet. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
![“[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains.” quote by Cynthia Heimel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5aa/cynthia-heimel-10285_baby_on-peanut-m-ms-it-is-the-eggness-of-them_613566.jpg)
