When I started, I was very deliberate about making friends with people like John Mulaney who were really funny and wanted to go up and do as many open mics as I did. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Be persistent and just keep going to open mics no matter what, even if just to watch and not perform. You'll find that even at your worst keep your head up because you'll still be better than other people's best. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When somebody comes across as authentic and genuine and sweet, people just want to spend time with that person. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When my wife left me, in real life, T. J. Miller was like, 'I'm shooting a movie in Pittsburgh. I'll fly you out and… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Religion often is very embarrassing, and I totally get it. So I am sort of sometimes burdened with the fact that I love talking… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When it comes to being called a pronoun, sometimes I like to call other people 'me.' I go, like, 'Oh, these mes voted for… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Why do we say 'Have a great weekend?' That's just a spell. You're just going - I have no control over your weekend. But… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
The biggest idea of a good time for me is making the Batman videos that we did. That is my ideal day. That is… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Science would like to tell us that people laugh because of the benign violation theory, but comedy doesn't have hard rules. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I mostly do faces and sounds. That's what I do. Comedy doesn't have to be art. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Comedians really are like a species. That's not to be exclusive. Anyone can kind of become one. You have to pay your dues, though. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When I got divorced, the first people I called were Nick Kroll and John Mulaney and T. J. Miller - all the pals. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Sometimes I liken the comedian's lifestyle a little bit to a firefighter's in the sense that there's a lot of waiting and a lot… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
