This is why you must love life: one day you're offering up your social security number to the Russian Mafia; two weeks later you're using the word calve as a verb. — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
I can't tell you the number of times I've been in the middle of a perfunctory conversation, and someone will say, 'Tell us what you really think.' Or 'Maybe you should switch to decaf. — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
“The drivers here are horrible. And by horrible, I mean they don't realize I have someplace to be.” — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
“Just because it's complicated, just because you think you can't ever know everything about another person, it doesn't mean you can't try.” — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
You come out into the world after a season of TV and you're just swearing and saying mean things to people and they're looking… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
“Here’s something about Mom: she’s bad with annoyances, but great in a crisis. If a waiter doesn’t refill her water after she’s asked three… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
“Parking in Seattle is an eight-step process. Step one, find a place to park (gooood luuuuck!). Step two, back into the angled parking space… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
“Eleanor's heart giggled with mad abundance: so much to share, so much goodwill, so many notes to compare, so many ways to help and… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
After decades spent in rewrite rooms surrounded by other shouting writers, I discovered that I work best alone. I like being in charge of… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
“Ten years ago I saw a documentary on the siege of that Moscow theater. After just forty-eight hours of the terrorists confining the hostages… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
When I'm sitting at my computer writing, I really have this fiendish smile on my face. I am not thinking about the past or… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
“Every single iceberg filled me with feelings of sadness and wonder. Not thoughts of sadness and wonder, mind you, because thoughts require a thinker,… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
“The sight of Elgie flat on the slimy dock, groaning "My wife, my wife", with a gun pointed at him, and me jumping up… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
Maggie Shipstead's prose is so graceful and muscular, so dazzling, so sure-handed and fearless, that at times I had to remind myself to breathe.… — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
