I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end. — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it by spending the interim in guilt-ridden misery. At an early age I decided that living a life of pious misery in the hope of going to heaven when it's over is… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share
The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras. — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
There's a lot we should be able to learn from history. And yet history proves that we never do. In fact, the main lesson of history is that we never learn the lessons of history. This makes us look so stupid that few people care to read it. They'd rather not be reminded. Any good history book is mainly just… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share
Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
You know, you look at the chaos in the conservative camp right now, it's only too tempting to blame it all on pot. But… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good lie will… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
I think it's time to stop carping on the blunders of the President and give him some credit for creativity. I mean, where do… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money… — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me. — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through. — A. Whitney Brown Copy Share Image
