My dogs, the only creatures on the planet marked by my singular nurturing imprint, have all turned out to be rude and self-absorbed. In all likelihood, if they were children instead of dogs, I would have foisted more Charlie Sheens… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
More than any other personality trait, my mother seemed to be ruled by anger and sadness. She seemed to hate being a mother. Watching… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
The whole narcissism and echo syndrome is usually the result of early childhood training. Those are very hard habits for anyone to break. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
I really enjoyed Merrill Markoe's Guide To Glamorous Living, which was a weird hybrid reality/sketch thing I wrote, directed, and hosted, with two male-model… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
It's surely no accident that there are horoscopes in Vogue, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Woman, New Woman, Elle and Cosmo ... but not Sports Illustrated, GQ,… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Beware the old man in young guy's clothes. If he's over 35 and comes to pick you up looking as though he's headed for… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“Maybe this is kind of cliche, but animals, well, dogs, are what I do for a living. One reason I like spending time with… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“I'm clear with all my bitches...I hump her till she bites me. Then it's adios bitches, time for BALL.” — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
They were soul mates, my mother and father. They claimed to adore each other, as if the word 'adore' meant 'argue with ceaselessly. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
A wacky, trendy outfit on a guy over 40 indicates he's got big issues. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
my mother ... took the fact that my taste differed from hers as a personal insult. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
