“Mutuality has tumbled into undeserved obscurity by the primacy our society places on the art of the deal. The prevailing myth reaching most contemporary ears is this: relationships are 50-50. When one person does a nice thing for the other,… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“All of us, when we engage in relatedness, fall under the gravitational influence of another’s emotional world, at the same time that we are bending his emotional mind with ours. Each relationship is a binary star, a burning flux of… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“One brain’s blueprint may promote joy more readily than most; in another, pessimism reigns. Whether happiness infuses or eludes a person depends, in part,… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“The limbic connectedness of a working psychotherapy requires uncommon courage. A patient asks to surrender the life he knows and to enter and emotional… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“Everything a person is and everything he knows resides in the tangled thicket of his intertwined neurons. These fateful, tiny bridges number in the… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“People who need regulation often leave therapy sessions feeling calmer, stronger, safer, more able to handle the world. Often they don't know why. Nothing… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“People rely on intelligence to solve problems, and they are naturally baffled when comprehension proves impotent to effect emotional change. To the neocortical brain,… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“The benefits of deep attachment are powerful - regulated people feel whole, centered, alive.” — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“Long-standing togetherness writes permanent changes into a brain's open book. In a relationship, one mind revises another; one heart changes its partner. (144)” — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“When trying to fathom an immense, intricate system, drawing direct arrows of causality between micro and macro-components is perilous. Which stock caused the crash… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“Modern amorists are sometimes taken aback at the prospect of investing in a relationship with no guarantee of reward. It is precisely that absence,… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“In a dazzling vote of confidence for form over substance, our culture fawns over the fleetingness of being “in love” while discounting the importance… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“A person cannot direct his emotional life in the way he bids his motor system to reach for a cup. He cannot will himself… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“What Richard Selzer, M.D. once wrote of surgery is true of therapy: only human love keeps this from being the act of two madmen.” — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“The brain’s dense thicket of interrelationships, like those of history or art, does not yield to the reductivist’s bright blade.” — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“Loving is limbically distinct from in love. Loving is mutuality ; loving is synchronous attunement and modulation. As such, adult love depends critically upon… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
“Advances in communication technology foster a false fantasy of togetherness by transmitting the impression of contact- phone calls, faxes, e-mail- without its substance. And… — Thomas Lewis Copy Share Image
