Maybe I shouldn’t mouth off to the elemental I kinda hoped was my future mother-in-law. — Kiersten White Copy Share Image
I have no problem putting my feet up and watching football but my mother-in-law is always doing stuff. — Seal Copy Share Image
I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that. — Allen Toussaint Copy Share Image
It's not that we didn't get along, it's just that my mother-in-law is very objective. She objected to everything I did. — Beverly D'Angelo Copy Share Image
My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. — John Barrymore Copy Share Image
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her. — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
“On the drive up here, I saw a goose," he says. "A Canada goose. Fred told me they shit something horrible. They… — Brian Francis Copy Share Image
I think that what I do, in terms of how I craft my words rhetorically, is fairly simple stuff. I don't mean… — John Scalzi Copy Share Image
A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting… — Karel Capek Copy Share Image
I went from resenting my mother-in-law to accepting her, finally to appreciating her. What appeared to be her diffidence when I was… — Ayelet Waldman Copy Share Image
I'm sitting at the dinner table, wearing my future mother-in-law's underwear. It's like some twisted dream that you wake up and thinkL… — Sophie Kinsella Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law says if you want to live like a Republican, vote like a Democrat. That if you are a part of… — Thomas Friedman Copy Share Image
I find it beautiful when we're in Italy that everybody sits down at the table together. My mother-in-law is like, 'It doesn't… — Debi Mazar Copy Share Image
The lawyer cabled to his client., yr mother in law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?… — Chloe Copy Share Image
We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, "I've decided I want to… — Dave Spikey Copy Share Image
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter - that's something. — Lou Gehrig Copy Share Image
You know you've built a product that can hit the mainstream when your wife, your father, and your mother-in-law can get involved. — Josh Kopelman Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out as Woman Hitler? Coincidence? I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I should, many a good day, have blown my brains out, but for the recollection that it would have given pleasure to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To have one's mother-in-law in the country when one lives in Paris, and vice versa, is one of those strokes of luck… — Honore de Balzac Copy Share Image
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
a mother-in-law's praise says more in a woman's favor than anything else in the world. — Caroline Pafford Miller Copy Share Image
Everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They (mothers-in-law) never leave when they say they will. When my mother-in-law visits, the mice throw themselves at the cat, begging to… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
My mother-in-law was with me during all four of my births and when she was sitting next to me holding my hand… — Patricia Heaton Copy Share Image
When I get married I want a mother in law that will adore me and one that I'll actually like. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just because you're unemployed doesn't mean you're not doing anything useful. You are, for example, at least keeping your mother-in-law's wit sharp. — Marilyn vos Savant Copy Share Image
Having a great mother in law that you get along with and you KNOW she likes you will motivate you to never… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We never make sport of religion, politics, race or mothers. A mother never gets hit with a custard pie. Mothers-in-law-yes. But mothers-never. — Mack Sennett Copy Share Image
I suppose, mother-in-laws are frightening figures. Especially, more so for mother-in-laws to be. — Sonia Gandhi Copy Share Image
