I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
In L.A., a lot of comics live here, but we don't get to spend that much time together because we've got to drive 45… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I'm not an extroverted person, nor am I hyper-confident in my point of view. I just don't have that personality. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I think I, like a lot of people, have that type of brain where I find it interesting or fulfilling to worry about something. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love! — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I have a comic character - my sister said that I'm the victim of every joke I tell. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because that's been said to me. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
In my stand up, I think I try to be less energetic because I feel embarrassed about how much enthusiasm I have. There's something… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
