I've learned from my pets that it's okay to sit around, and people don't love you any less if you sit around… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
In my stand up, I think I try to be less energetic because I feel embarrassed about how much enthusiasm I have.… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
My therapist says I'm afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
In L.A., a lot of comics live here, but we don't get to spend that much time together because we've got to… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I have a hard time with interviews, because I'd rather hear about the interviewer. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I'd like to create a lovable character for schizophrenia; it doesn't have a celebrity spokesperson because by the time somebody's schizophrenic they've… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I've been stopped a few times by people who want to say, 'Hi.' But I'm an introverted person, and the idea that… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
My mom is very religious and she said, 'Whatever you think about all the time, that's what you worship.' If that's the… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I think taking vacations and turning off the phone and only doing emails or social media for a specific short amount of… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
In L.A., a lot of comics live here, but we don't get to spend that much time together because we've got to drive 45… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Sometimes I worry I don't want to get married as much as I'd like to be dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I'm not an extroverted person, nor am I hyper-confident in my point of view. I just don't have that personality. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I think I, like a lot of people, have that type of brain where I find it interesting or fulfilling to worry about something. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Even if you're disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you're gross, you know, keep doing what you love! — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
I have a comic character - my sister said that I'm the victim of every joke I tell. — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
