“Have a baby shower, then an abortion. Now you just have to lose a little weight to squeeze into all your skimpy new outfits.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The problem with our society is that our values aren’t in the right place. There’s an awful lot of bleeding and naked bodies on… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees,… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Dentistry is a precondition to love at first sight. When your eyes meet she beams with happiness, but when you smile back she shows… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“When it’s not enough to veto your children’s tendencies, you must in vitro them.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Don't swallow: your bulging, blushing cheeks display the saliva you want to share.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Cannibal: epicures who abstain from alcohol and tobacco. As moral guides, they are underutilized in the police forces of modern societies. ” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I have never sought to displease; I merely seek pleasure and avoid the pain it causes those who work to produce it. That is… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I ran into an old friend on the street and we started up a conversation. Four hours and six bottles of wine later, we… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You suggested to split the profits, so I did. I threw one half in the furnace to power… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
