You're not in a real relationship until your girl gets mad at you in real life for something you did in her… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We can't kiss our elbow is enough to make us realize that some things in life are very close to us,but still… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When life hands you lemons, squeeze lemon juice into your eyes without blinking. Just to let life know you don't play around. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You weren't put on this earth to please other people. Live your life and eliminate all of the stress. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Throughout my life, I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've missed, I've hurt, I've trusted, I've made mistakes. Most of all I've… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm shocked at the number of people telling me to get a life. I mean, who told them that I don't have… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Two things in life that are difficult to achieve: 1. To plant your idea in someone's head. 2. To plant someone's money… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier. Must be going through a tough period in her life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life is similar to a Boxing match. Defeat is NOT declared when you fall down- It is declared when you refuse to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some day I'm going to achieve greatness in life and be able to fill my oil tank all the way. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear ugly chicks, If you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've realized something today. No matter how hard you try to plan your life, life has a plan for you all on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been staring at my Smart Phone for so long, I'm pretty sure it just told me to get a fucking life. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women. Can't live with them, can't finish this joke without having sex with them & then later sleep on couch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If two people are arguing & one person says, You know what... Just sit back & enjoy. Trust me that argument is… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
God could not be with us every time we need support in our worst times of life, and therefore he made fathers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How we all always forget that there are more people helping the victims than those people creating the victims. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The British Royal family had to be Gujjus - Not paying taxes for life & yet smile & act as if they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Great Unanswered Question in Life: Who took a bite out of the apple on iPhones, Macbooks, and iPads? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
5% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate knowing that I care more about other people than other people will ever care about me — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Netflix gives you 15 seconds between episodes to decide whether or not you're doing anything with your life today. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I love Mondays and I'm not gonna apologize to you people for making good life choices. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Two things bring happiness & success in life: 1. The way you MANAGE when you have nothing, and 2. The way you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dudes are like Boobs, farts, butts, funà And chicks are all like Feelings, feelings, emotions, ice creamà And that's life, bro L-I-F-E — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Smoking one cigarette shortens your life by 14 minutes, but having sex lengthens it by 12 minutes. So smokers: screw for your lives! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The blonde was always careful to remove her watch before putting on bug spray because she didn't want it to kill the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl calling another girl a slut is like a retweet but in real life, because you just gave her a shitload… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Want to know who to blame for all of your misfortunes? YOURSELF! Quit blaming everyone for the drama you create in your… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Deaf child says: For all of you, I am deaf; But for me, all of you are dumb¦ Moral: Life differs… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Everyone has a life story. Mine will probably end with something like then he found twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
